Like a Whisper
by CliffieMaster
Summary: When he said goodbye, she didn't know he meant forever. ::BuffyAngel:: Ficlet


Cliffie: Hello, hello, and welcome all! This is just a short ficlet that popped into my head a while back; it's Buffy/Angel pairing, and only concerned with the Season Three ending. In other words, THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS but it doesn't quite follow what happens in later seasons. We all know that Buffy and Angel see each other occasionally. So, really, I suppose this is slight AU. Or you could just think of it as not taking the other seasons (or "Angel") into consideration.

I hope everyone enjoys this!

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of the characters.

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He came into her life with a bang, and, once there, she couldn't imagine it without him. He had become such a constant in her life, in her thoughts, in her dreams, that it was simply impossible to imagine existing without him. 

She had been given plenty of reasons to think of such things lately. But she had pushed them to the back of her mind, forgotten about them—or at least tried to. In a way, she didn't really believe him. Surely he wouldn't through with what he said, right? He hadn't been able to in the past.

But things were different now. His convictions were stronger. He said he was breaking up with her. He did. He said he was leaving. And now he was.

She tried to wrap her mind around the fact that she was probably seeing him for the last time, and failed miserably.

He stood before her, about ten feet away. He was clothed in smoke, beneath the dark sky of a dark night that was broken by the harsh, flashing red lights of the ambulances and police cars. While he stood silently, the night was anything but; with the wailing sirens and cries from the gathered assembly, it was hard to hear herself think. But that might just as well been because her mind was in a hazy shade of shock, and it was too hard to tear that gauze. She didn't really want to, either.

His eyes were on hers, locked in place as if they would never be torn away. Those beautiful, dark, soul-penetrating eyes that had captured her from the moment she had seen them pierced her, tore her open. Because they said that he was leaving, despite everything. He was leaving, and he was saying goodbye to her now.

There were no words that passed between them. No words, nothing spoken aloud. But she heard him easily. It was almost as if he was speaking to her, like a whisper from far away, as if he was right before her, holding her close. She could smell him—that sharp, slightly spicy scent was all around her. She almost closed her eyes to breathe it in deeper and give herself up to it, but kept them open at the last minute. For to close her eyes meant that he would break loose and fall away. And she couldn't let that happen.

But then his words were around her again, whisper-soft and passing through lips that never once moved. He was telling that he i was /i leaving, that he was leaving and would never return.

She couldn't handle that. How was she supposed to handle that? She loved him too much to let him go forever.

Before, when he said he was leaving, he had never mentioned anything about forever.

No. No no no. She couldn't let him do this. She didn't want it, he didn't want it, how could she allow it—?

A little part of her mind said that this was the right thing to do. She knew that, somewhere deep within her soul. If he stayed, he would still be young when she died. And that would be too painful for the both of them.

But this was too painful as well. She shook her head, as if that would stop the sickening feeling of hopelessness creeping upon her. It was just a slight movement, barely noticeable. But he saw it. The look of pain on his face deepened, but his resolve never wavered.

He couldn't do this. He i couldn't /i . She loved him, and if he knew what pain it was causing her, he wouldn't go through with it.

His eyes said that he did he know because he was going through the exact same thing. He loved her too much for words. And that was why he had to leave. Now, before it became even more difficult.

Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, he turned and began to walk away. And in that moment, she knew he was really leaving forever.

It felt like her heart was being torn apart, like it was falling into a million messy pieces that chocolate ice cream could never hope to fix.

He had been such a big part of her life. But now, like a whisper swiftly fading on the wind, he was leaving.

She tried to open her lips, to scream and yell and cry a wordless wail of the pit-deep despair she felt begin to consume her, but she couldn't. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think, and he was walking away, drawing further away every minute.

And she couldn't even open her hands to try and catch the whisper that would always keep an imprint upon her shattered excuse for a heart.

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Cliffie: Sad, depressing, and angsty. But that was the point. XD I was trying to show that everyone feels completely useless sometimes, and that it _hurts_ to lose the most important thing in your life. Hope everyone enjoyed it, and please leave a review! Thanks very much! 


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